My right knee is fucking sore. It can't recover cause I don't sleep well enough. At least I'm breaking from powerlifting, since that seems to be an impossible task right now, fuck. Imma start writing things or i'll forget.
I don't do paragraphs that often. Who the fuck am I talking about. Myself really. So I'm thinking about joining the marines, or at least contacting the recruiting officer nearby this area if I can will myself over there. Stole some jalapeno chips not too long ago. They were good, but I didn't get the full taste cause I have a runny nose. Bro, I'm lost in my own mind. Knee is still sore.
I am powerful beyond measure.
But I want to be even more so. I have to get low low low, lower than ever before. A fat, black rent a cop just came around looking for homeless folk sleeping in these bitches. I am such a folk. I am folklore. But Since I have my mini afro reflecting the bright light of my computer screen, I can survive the first search.
lower than before. Because it took my blood being spilt, my crying over blades, cold fucking grass late night, no one to shove, no one to take in and hug. It took the walks, the backpack, the looks, the books, the dick-headed struggle with an ever-pulling gravitational and reasonable force. But I wanted to defeat reason, I wanted to dethrone and fuck it up. I want to beat it up, still today. I want to run into it so fucking hard. Just bumrush it, leave it bumfucked, bamboozled. I hate this toilet paper shit. My nose does not stop running.
What did I say, I need to get even lower so that I may rise again, so that I may be pushed harder than ever before by the only thing, force, element in this world that could ever do it: me. I'm 290 lbs on creatine, somewhat less without the water weight. I want to be skinnier, i want to have my knee heal. I need to lessen the pressure there and put this shit where it counts. there's only a limited amount of pressure my knee can handle, but I got it to go, after eating some at the pressure palace. Everything kinda hurts, and that's considering i'm in pretty good physical shape. I want
to do the marines, cause they have this 12 week thing, where you suck a lot of dick and got a tiny medalion at its conclusion. So that is a driving force. I want to be broken down, drowned. I think I can take it all, cause i've always been pretty good at licking that shit up. I need to do something that will take me away from this certain lethargy of a hell i'm in. How can this be lief
when i'm far from living. I was scared shitless by the fat, black rent-a-cop.
So now here I am, going to sleep under this table most likely. hopefully that was dem last rounds, cause if more to come, then more to cum, no, yes, I do believe so. I have jerked off a tremendous amount these last few weeks.
squit squirt squirters. There's nothing like tits, piss, in your face. I am survived by nothing right now, isn't that sad. I am survived by nothing. A mom, haha, a sister, lmao, a father, a brother. What am I and who have I become. Where did I so loosely let all my ships sink, let the snot drip so far down my cheek that it felt like a tear.
When do I start acknowledging that I'm a much more sufficiently capable individual than I ever give myself credit for. I have to reignite those flames, that dynamic strength to push beyond the current and to look to do the things I love to do. I'll meet up with that recruiter soon and bumfuck him too.
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